So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
