he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize