We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
