Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize