Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
