That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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