Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
