yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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