Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
