i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
