I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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