I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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