covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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