You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
