How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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