need another drink. this is the easiest way
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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