k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
