Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
