I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
