You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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