yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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