So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
