so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
