Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
