But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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