I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
