Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
