It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
