Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
