Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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