windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Randomize
