Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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