so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
