yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
