just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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