He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
