Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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