so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
