he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
