I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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