he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
