My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
