rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
