Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize