did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
