Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
