How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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