Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
