My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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