You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
