your thong is hanging out like whoa
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Two words: nipple clamps
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