im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
