They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
my liver is dry heaving
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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