Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
