Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Randomize
