can u get pink eye on your cock?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize