i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You took a bar mat shot.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
