I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
