And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
