you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
