Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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