I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
