i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
