So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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