So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
