Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
