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What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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