New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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