we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
