she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
